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So on Halloween night, Valerie and I drove over to the Evaline to give that party a shot. Needless to say, we didn’t make it in. So we headed home and carved our two remaining pumpkins, listening to Comcast’s “Sounds of the Season” station.

My Homsar pumpkin. His hat has since collapsed.

At 1:20am (corrected for daylight savings time) the last Halloween song (Bloodletting by Concrete Blonde) ended. The next song was Frosty the Snowman. We witnessed the official changing of the seasons from Halloween to Christmas! I was a little surprised that Comcast couldn’t give Halloween at least until the next morning… it’s a pretty late-night holiday, especially on a weekend! But we now know… Halloween ends at 1:20 that night.

My award for best Halloween costume would go to a couple I saw as I drove up Liberty headed to Evaline Street. It took me a while to recognize them, and I wish I could have gotten a picture, but I was driving. He was dressed as Sgt. Joe Friday in P.A.G.A.N. infiltration outfit (complete with goat leggings) and she was dressed as the virgin Connie Swail, both from Dragnet (1987). My Halloween heroes! The combo of Lonestar, Barf, Pizza the Hut and Vinnie from Spaceballs was pretty impressive too.

The happy couple.

Choosy Moms Choose Life

My response to a coworker’s email today, after I offered to go to Quizno’s for the department.

Decorating my cubical [sic]

Happy October 1st, everyone! Get yourself to your nearest purveyor of Indian food in celebration!

Last weekend Valerie and I went to a flea market in Oakdale to buy hilarious things to decorate our work spaces with. And did we ever succeed! Val ended up with a great painting of clowns, circa 1970′s, and a big photo taped to a picture frame of a guru guy of some sort. Among other great stuff.

I found these geese and a plastic USA shield. You may be surprised to find that I didn’t even pay all that much for them. To me they evoke the paneled wall of a dad’s den circa~1981, maybe above a leather couch.

Behold the patriotic ducks in all their glory!

I’ve decided that if anyone asks me any questions about my new decorating scheme, I will say that I’m trying to be “a little more hardcore” with no further explanation.

Coolest Thing Ever?

I’m usually not too much of a sucker for toys in special editions DVD sets, but this one has caught my eye something fierce:

Not only that, but Amazon is pre-shipping them at $44 off. The floppy-disk DVD cases look kickass.

I am weak!

Writer’s Block: Youthful Transgressions

If I had it all to do over, I wouldn’t change a thing. Because I’m CRAZY!!!

Same as it ever was…

Bright and early today Pam was in my cubicle again, looking over my shoulder, rubbing her stomach against my elbow, ruining my feng shui and stressing me out, again.

She said to me, “These denial codes are going way up. I printed you out a report. We need to take care of this today, Corporate is watching these.”

“Okay, for one thing, Corporate is way too busy downsizing 75% of the company to pay attention to your ‘denial codes’. For another thing, Corporate is lucky they don’t have to look at your dopey face, because if I have to see it for another second, I’m going to scald you with melting cream cheese!” I replied.

She gave me a withering look and walked over to her own desk.

I leaned over my cubicle wall, shouting now, “Oh, and Pam? Every time you speak, I hear clown horns in my head, fit to render me deaf with their cacophany!”

I need to find some cream cheese.

The Ascent of Pam

This morning I got an email from my supervisor, Pam. Now, I’ll grant that sometimes I play a little fast and loose with my starting time. I get improvisational. There is a time to follow the rules, and a time to break them, stopping at both McDonald’s on the way to work. But that’s no reason to go all passive-aggressive on me! The email’s subject line was:

Remember to watch the time clock. Your start time is 7:30.

The body of the email was blank.

I replied back with the following email:

I have a photograph of your butt in my wallet.

Every night I lick it before I go to bed. Do you think you can feel that?
Love,
Eric

Two can play at this war!

Natalie, you are a badass bitch

For all of you LiveJournaliers, the detailed details on the Natalie Portmanteau paradox!

The name “Natalie Portman” is actually an abbreviation for “Natalie Portmanteau”. This is ironic because it’s not a portmanteau without the -manteau suffix! The “Portmanteau” is the portmanteau, if you will.

Thus her real, full name (Natalie Portmanteau) is actually a portmanteau of her fake name (Natalie Portman) and the word “portmanteau”.

The forethought behind this naming is just awe-inspiring! Put that in your Pipensmohket!

Rare actual photo of a Pipensmohket.

Cell phone provider help!

As I’ve no doubt inundated many of you with before, I tend to choose my cell phone based on one criterion: the quality of the camera phone. Since I don’t ever think to carry a camera with me, a decent camera phone enables me to actually take pictures now. My old trusty standby, the Sony Ericsson w810i, is 2 1/2 years old now… I haven’t really hit any technological walls with it, so an upgrade is by no means a given, but it’s getting time to at least start looking.

The best camera phone I’ve been able to find is the Motorola ZN5. It has a 5 megapixel camera, which is definitely getting up into serious picture territory. (The iPhone has a 2 megapixel, the iPhone 3GS has a 3 megapixel.) It is also free with… here’s the catch: T-Mobile service.

I’ve had AT&T service for several years now, and I’ve never had any trouble with it. I can even find service when I’m up at the cottage, where cell phones sometimes disintegrate due to lack of coverage. People complain about AT&T service, a lot, but I’ve never had any real issues.

So I’m curious… anybody know anything about T-Mobile and whether or not it’d be worth switching to? Is a QWERTY keyboard a dealbreaker in a phone? It seems to have 3G, stereo Bluetooth, etc. Since none of the Blackberrys or iPhones have the better camera, I’m not sure if I need to go there.